The scenario goes as follows: There is a character that has been preyed on by another girl who, coming under the guise of her friend, convinces her that she is fat and pushes her into bulimic practices. Now this story is one i already have a sensitive nerve about because one of my best friends during the course of my life has struggled with bulimia, i was THERE i saw what she went through, not completely of course but i saw her struggle and her fight to get over it, so when i saw this issue my eyebrows perked. Now i do not have a problem with the writers tackling this issue because the fact of the matter is, it is a very real one and i admire pushing the envelop like that.
Now said character with all the body issues and self esteem problems has found herself in love with the guy she is dating, who loves her too (they're a cute couple i dig them) She finds herself however too scared to tell him, he senses it and decided to tell her first so as to take the pressure off.
Now Here Is Where Things Get Stupid.
Now who thinks it is a smart idea to tell the young women of the world, battling body issues, eating disorders and self esteem problems that it is okay for a significant other to, love them enough so that they don't have to worry about not loving themselves?
If you have ever gone through the turmoil of self hate, you know that there is nothing anyone could say that can fix you. Only you can fix you. And it angers me that this message is being sent through music and i suppose through the show but I'm trying not to judge them yet because i understand as a writer myself this could be all part of plot building so the jury is still out on that part...Still! Really? I will love you so don't worry you don't have to worry about loving you? In my opinion, this idea of love coming outside of self is what gets us into these situations in the first place...
How is it going to help an insecure person to believe and lean on the understanding that security not can but WILL come outside of self? Isn't that creating a culture of dependency? If self love, SELF love, comes from outside of SELF isn't it obviously easy for it to me taken AWAY from self? Causing a person to go out looking and counting and digging in the dirt in hopes of finding someone ELSE to give them the SELF satisfaction they need to go on and were encouraged to not bother to nurture and water and grow?
It is important to remember that nobody but you is responsible for your out look on you. Giving that control to someone else does not only not give you firm footing in security but rather only has you living on borrowed time...until the next disappointment and believe me, humanity disappoints, we are flawed and can not help it and when your understanding is dependent on the acceptance of another human being you have offered up yourself to a kind of vulnerability that is more dangerous than anything of your own making....
It's like putting a bandage on a poisonous snake bite.
Let me also say that i wrote about this issue from the perspective of a television show viewer and writer but it would be an injustice not to link you to this post by one of my favorite bloggers that talks about it from a music listener's point of view and goes into more detail about the disturbing presence of this message in everyday music media, much more than even i initially realized! Its a fantastic read.
Peace. Love. Send The Right Message.