Sorry for the lack of blog post this week. I've just been at a loss as to what to write about and feeling guilty that my mind isn't completely focused on subjects as Monday uni has restarted for me and with that came the usual stress and anxiety. You'd think I'd get over it by now, every single time i put myself through this fear of failure scenario. Last semester i was tossing and turning, waking myself up as i pleaded in my sleep out loud 'how do i do this...how do i do this...' over a class i couldn't figure out, yes, i am that much of a nerd, it is dangerous to be too driven. I was sure i was going to fail and my world would come to a screeching halt as i would have to come to terms with the fact that i'm not as awesome as i think i am and i kid you not, that is no easy task for anyone to come to terms with. Well, after weeks and months of self imposed bad joojoo i passed said class as barely as it might have been and walked away from the experience with a very valuable lesson.
Much like life itself, it's just a test.
It doesn't make or break or define you. What will happen if you fail at something? Okay, come back from that cliff you see yourself throwing your self off of mentally...after that. You will rise. You'll take a step and then another step. I think this is the part that will make or break you. The part where you decide if those new steps will be in a forward direction.
This is just the first bit, what really gets me down and staying down is that every time i feel this drain of creative juices. I know it's not ever lasting though. A means to an ends. So, in an unlikely event i thought I'd give you a glance at some completely unrelated pieces of me.
I wear suits to work and since i have been obsessed with Doctor Who for the last month and a half, one of my favorite suits now has even more appeal because of it's pin stripes reminding me of The Doctor.
Also trying to be a better teacher so my new supervisor and i had a chat while he checked my books to make sure i was planning well. Teachers get stickers too! Who doesn't like stickers?
Also, discovered i could use my ipad as a teaching aid my student loves and is enthusiastic about learning from.
It's been cold round here lately. What i like to call 'sock weather'
So that's what its been bout this week, I've been battling as i attempt to balance being a good growing full time teacher and being a university student. It's very difficult as i unfortunately face situations where i sometimes encounter professionals who seem more about their pride than whether their students, my students, pass, fail or feel comfortable in their skin and life as a student. This hurts me very much but i have full intention to continue my resolution to live with authority because this one isn't only for me, it's for my students too. Also, those moments when i meet other professionals who pick up the slack where others have failed my hope is renewed.
Trying not to be too impressed that I've stuck to my resolutions though. After all, it's still January ;) But hey! Thought of the Day: This Life Is Just A Test & School's Back In Session.
Peace. Love. Worth